Disconnect...

Lately I'm becoming more and more aware of the disconnect between the way things are and the way I want and need them to be.

I want to be this on fire for God Christian showing Christ's love literally with every breath and word. I am failing miserably to do that and even struggling to spend time in prayer. Struggling with myself as we search for a church to know exactly what I believe, and to know that the kind of church I'm comfortable in may not be the kind of church i should be in. And, honestly, just struggling to understand why I believe what I believe.

I want to eat sustainably and responsibly but there is a struggle with actually cooking that way and affording to cook that way and spending my time that way. I know this will come with time especially once we're all moved out to the farm and raising almost all our meat, fruit, vegetables, and grains, but it very frustrating to want one thing in my head and another in my mouth. I'm not gonna lie, I could eat a whole box of hostess cupcakes if I had to :)

I want my house to be clean or at least moderately straight most of the time. I am not talking immaculate, I would just like to not have to freak out if company is on the way in 20 minutes. Housekeeping is a struggle for me and always has been. Growing up I always said I would have a maid. Ha!

I want to be a normal weight and I'm not. I want to eat healthier and exercise more (it wouldn't take much to be more!) in order to lose some of the 4 babies in 4 1/4 years weight I have put on. I think I am actually joining a (very cheap) gym tonight. I'll let you know how that goes.

As disconnected as I am feeling right now, it is a very happy time in our family right now. Nathan and I are getting along famously and the kids are growing and amazing. I guess this is the way it is in this life, ever striving...

Happy Belated Birthday, Isaiah!

Isaiah turned 5 on the 17th! I can't believe my baby is a big kid now! We took him bowling with all his cousins yesterday and had a really great time. It was the lowest stress party we've ever hosted because we didn't cook, clean, or stress in any way. :) Happy birthday my sweet boy!

Sick Day

5 vomits (from 2 kids)
2 loads of laundry
1 shower
1 trip to the store
2 diaper changes
3 popsicles (liquid breakfasts)
3 real breakfasts (as real as cereal can be. Kashi honey sunshine anyone?!)
2 nursings
15 trips up the stairs (approx.)
And it's only 9:30 in the morning.

Welcome to my world on a sick day.

5 Dozen Eggs

There is freedom in having 5 dozen pastured eggs in the fridge. Eggs will be enjoyed thoroughly for the next 2 weeks.

On the crafting front, I am big into crocheting this week and have kind of abandoned the sewing machine. I will return to it before Christmas, but it is so easy to take crochet wherever I go. Not so much with sewing. I found a great little crochet flower tutorial in video form and I learned how to crochet a flower in 2 viewings. Now I am addicted to making all different colors and sizes of flowers. Anyone know how to crochet any other cute shapes?

In baby news, Chloe is rolling over and laughing a lot now. She is starting to actually play with toys and she loves laughing at her brothers and sister. She is still the most satisfied baby ever and still sleeps a lot. She startles easily, and is utterly beautiful. Toby is saying a whole slew of new phrases. I was a little concerned about his lack of verbalization, but now he has a new phrase every day, usually directed at his siblings. I believe I heard him say, "Hey! Get offa me!" yesterday. He is starting to show us his defiant side, but overall is a sweet, funny kid who loves and responds to music in a way that my older two didn't at this age. He sings (in his own language) and dances any time there are tunes on. It's so funny to see how each kid is different. Toby has been called "bruiser" by many and he is so tough! Lydia is so funny and independent. She is the bossy sister who doesn't get her feelings hurt very easily. And she is a princess. She makes up songs all day long. Isaiah is a sensitive ninja, always karate-ing his way through the house and world. He is sweet, kind, and his little mind never stops thinking things through. Yesterday I was trying to get him to move his toys and he told me, "I build things. It's what I do!" like it was his purpose in life to construct his block tower at that exact location. I guess yesterday it was his purpose in life.

Okay, I must get to work! A clean house is the goal today. Must accomplish!

pear butter and costumes

I made pear butter yesterday with some free pears that got sent my way. Yummy plus there's enough to save for a couple of Christmas gifts. I also made a no-sew tutu for Lydia for halloween and it is awesome! So easy to make and only took a couple of leisurely hours. Pictures will come sometime after trick or treat. I have to fix my sewing machine so I can sew the boys costumes before trick or treat tomorrow. The thread is getting all bunched up on the underside of whatever I am sewing. I have no idea what I am doing wrong, so if you have any suggestions please enlighten me!

Monday Update

1. House is a disaster!
2. Thinking about moving to the camper. Must get soil evaluation so we can get building permit, so we can get temporary electric run to the farm.
3. Homeschooling is not going as planned, but we are still learning things most days.
4. I have been working on Chloe's birth story, and it will probably be my next post. I am trying to remember everything so I can read it again in 20 years and feel like I am there again.
5. Thinking about making sprouted grain bread. Any ever done it? Have any tips or recipes?
6. I think I am gaining weight. Hence the thoughts about sprouted grain bread. Yes thoughts of sprouted grain bread while eating a cupcake.
7. I love fall. Spending a lot of time at the farm and the wood smoke in the air with the bubbling of the creek mixed with the damp, fresh country air... well it makes for an enjoyable scenic afternoon.
8. I actually nursed in a field while keeping cows in. In the dark. Chloe couldn't wait any longer, and the cows had to be contained.
9. Halloween costume ideas are welcome. Lydia will be a "tappy princess" per her request, Isaiah will be a pirate or an alien probably, Toby will be Jedi warrior Toby-wan Kenobi if I find the right material before Saturday, and sweet Chloe...I'm just not sure yet.
10. Vegetable soup for supper. Yum.

Crazy Crafting

I love making things. This year I am crafting with a purpose. Our Christmas is going to be a mostly handmade Christmas this year (hopefully!). I have a really good start on my sewing projects and am hoping to keep up the momentum. I am working on making this doll and this doll for all the little girls in the fam. I have already completed one, and most of another but I can't steal any more stuffing from the couch cushions to fill them with, so I have yet to put my 2nd and 3rd ones together. I am planning on making these capes for Isaiah, Lydia and Toby, and maybe a niece or nephew or two. I want to make some ribbon twirlers, felt shapes, and a geoboard also for Christmas. I have already started a magazine bowl (for a gift) and a rag rug (for me). Handmade Home has been an inspiration to get me started and then I found all the free patterns and tutorials at The Long Thread and now I can't be stopped!

Somebody posted a craft supply swap on freecycle that was held at the Jessamine County Public Library and I went today! I got two sacks full of craft supplies for FREE! This is stuff I was going to have to buy! Embroidery floss, fabric, ribbon, bias tape, zippers, lacing cord (a whole roll which I needed for my rag rug!), and more! I just had to take some craft stuff to exchange, which I already had a box of just waiting to put on freecycle! Plus I found some awesome vintage bedsheets, a tablecloth, and some fabric remnants at goodwill! It has been a thrifty crafty weekend.

In other unrelated news, the cows got out this week while Nathan was in Lexington at work and had the van. He rushed home and we all got ready. We found the cows in the neighbors yard munching on some hay. Nathan then led them up the road to our property with a little bucket of grain. Just picture me with the van parked across the road and the gate pulled across the road blocking the escape for the cows, while he leads three cows with a tiny coffee bucket of grain. He is working on fixing the fence and providing a water source other than the creek. They have been walking up the creek bed to escape.

The Farm is beautiful right now (minus all the rain) and monarch butterflies are abundant in the field. They love all the purple clover and the kids are loving spotting them. The mosquitoes and lightning bugs have gone for the season, and we can't hear the bees swarming on the sunflowers anymore, but fall is hands down my favorite time of year here. And we discovered that there are three black walnut trees on the property. Anybody know how to get one open? They have such hard shells that a hammer doesn't even make a dent.

Another fun find this week is Adventures in Odyssey and StoryNory radio programming for the kids online.

Happy crafting this week and enjoy this beautiful season :)